I hate it here. I really do.

We are currently living in a dating culture that’s being held hostage by entitlement dating. Financial transactions are disguised as romantic expectations, and there is a complete lack of self-respect on both ends. Case in point? The viral message exchange that just dragged me into an existential crisis about modern dating.

Let’s break it down: A man invites a woman on a date. Instead of a “Sure, sounds fun,” he gets hit with a $200 hair appointment invoice. Her justification? “You asked me out, so the least you can do is pay for my hair. I already paid for my nails, which, honestly, you should have paid for too, since I have to look good for you.”

Insert deep sigh.

The Entitlement Dating Epidemic: When Did Dates Come With Invoices?

This new way of teaching and thinking is terrible. Like… who raised y’all?

Let’s get something straight:

No one owes you luxury grooming just because they want to spend time with you.

Self-care is not a barter system.

Your hair, nails, outfits, lashes, Sephora run, and the new body shimmer you’re obsessing over are personal upkeep choices. That’s your lifestyle maintenance. If you can’t afford the look you’re selling, don’t put it on layaway and expect a stranger to finance it. That’s not femininity, that’s financial manipulation.

And no, it’s not empowering. It’s degrading. Not in the fun, flirty, Fifty Shades kind of way. But in a “you’re literally putting a price tag on your presence” kind of way.

Sis… You Don’t Look Good.

For Him

You Look Good For You.

Let me say it louder for the ones pretending they didn’t hear: You don’t get ready for a man. You get ready because you love how you feel when you see your reflection.

This whole “I only did my hair because I’m seeing you” narrative is weak sauce. You should want to show up as the most radiant, put-together, magnetic version of yourself, regardless of who you’re meeting.

If your confidence depends on reimbursement, it’s not confidence. Its performance. It is entitlement dating.

Planning a Date Is Not Code for Being an Event Coordinator

Now, let’s talk about this other red flag in the convo: her refusal to help plan the date because “Google works.”

Excuse me? If you’re going on the date too, shouldn’t you want to have a say in what you’re doing?

The entitlement wasn’t just financial—it was emotional laziness, too. Relationships (even early-stage ones) require collaboration. That means both people show up. Both people contribute. Both people decide. Otherwise, it’s not a partnership—it’s a performance and someone’s playing the fool.

The Comment That Took Me Out…

Let’s not skip the guy’s clapback either: “So if I pay for your hair, does it at least come with some…?”

Yeah. No. Just because someone’s entitled doesn’t mean you should respond with transactional misogyny. That comment was disrespectful, unnecessary, and made it clear that neither of them was emotionally mature enough to date anyone.

You don’t fix audacity with audacity.

Final Thoughts: Stop Mistaking Transaction for Intimacy

Romance isn’t a subscription service. It’s not “pay to play.” If your connection is rooted in what someone can do for you rather than who they are, you’re not looking for love. You’re looking for leverage.

Sis, you pay for your own nails. Your own hair. Your own self-worth.

And if someone offers to spoil you on top of that? Great. But if that’s your entry fee, you’re not building a relationship—you’re brokering a deal.

Let’s bring back mutual respect, emotional maturity, and self-sufficiency. Let’s teach our daughters self-worth that doesn’t come with a price tag. And let’s remind our sons that boundaries, standards, and respect go both ways.

Because of this current dating pool?

I. HATE. IT. HERE.