Supporting Sentences:
The most powerful marketing doesn’t target—it remembers.
Your people don’t need you to fit into a worksheet. They need you to see them.
If the “ideal client” exercise has ever made you feel like a fraud, you are not alone. This is your permission slip to burn the template.
🥊 Read This Before You Pretend You’re Fine Again
You were told to niche down so far you disappeared.
You were instructed to create an “ideal client avatar” that was so specific. It started sounding like your old boss or your high school bully.
You were told this would help you “speak their language.”
But all it did was silence yours.
This blog won’t tell you to niche harder.
It will tell you the truth. The person you’re trying to help is not able to fill out an avatar worksheet. They are too busy surviving.
🔥 What’s Really Messing You Up (Let’s Name It)
Marketing has become a mirror maze.
Everyone’s reflecting each other’s language, aesthetics, and pain points, so much so that authenticity gets lost in the algorithm.
You’re told to:
- Define your ideal client’s favorite coffee order.
- Know what keeps them up at night.
- Speak to their “aspirational identity.”
But what if that’s not what moves people?
What if the most resonant content isn’t the one that checks boxes, but the one that bleeds truth?
Here’s the trap:
• Most “ideal client” work encourages projection, not connection.
• It creates a performance, not a presence.
• It asks you to market to someone else before you’ve healed enough to listen to yourself.
And when we market from disembodiment, we attract from it, too.
🧾 Receipts:
- 72% of buyers say they purchase from brands that “feel like they understand them emotionally.” Not demographically.
- The trauma-informed marketing movement has exposed how traditional niching can perpetuate exploitation, pressure, and manipulation.
- Most coaches spend more time refining their avatar than clarifying their voice.
🎯 Here’s What You’ll Actually Walk Away With
By the end of this post, you’ll know how to:
- Identify who you’re speaking to (hint: it’s not always who you think).
- Unlearn harmful “ideal client” myths.
- Create trauma-informed, connection-centered messaging rooted in your lived experience.
- Market from integrity, not illusion.
✨ Shift Your Crap: A Better Way to See It
What if your ideal client isn’t a stranger you invented? Consider if they are a past version of you. They are still stuck, still scared, and still searching.
👉 What that means emotionally: You don’t have to fake resonance. You are the resonance.
👉 What that means mentally: You can stop overthinking every post and start telling the story that saved you.
👉 What that means financially: Clients who feel seen buy faster. They stay longer and refer more. Trust doesn’t need a funnel.
👉 What that means spiritually: You’re not here to manipulate someone into buying. You’re here to remind them to believe.
🧠 Let’s Break It Down: Real Talk, Lies You Believe, and What to Do Next
TRUTH:
People buy when they feel seen, not when they feel stalked.
MYTH:
You need a hyper-detailed, demographics-heavy avatar to attract aligned clients.
EXAMPLE: Saying “I help overwhelmed millennial moms aged 28-35.” These moms love iced coffee and live in the suburbs. This sounds targeted. It provides a broad description.
…but saying “I help the version of me who was crying on the bathroom floor at 2 a.m. She didn’t know how to ask for help” lands in the body.
TASK: Write a letter to the version of you who needed this offer/message/service.
Start with: “Hey, you. I remember how much it hurt to…”
End with: “Here’s what I wish someone had told you…”
That letter? It’s your next piece of marketing content.
✅ Quick Gut Check: Did You Leave Yourself Behind Again?
Did you forget to…
- Speak like a human, not a pitch deck?
- Write for the one person who felt like you used to?
- Let your scars show instead of your sales scripts?
- Stop trying to niche into someone else’s fantasy and return to your healing.
🧩 5 Tips to Build Messaging Without a Client Avatar
1. 🧬 Speak to Lived Experience, Not Market Segments
Say: “I know what it’s like to…” instead of “My ideal client struggles with…”
2. 🕯 Bare Minimum Tip: Talk to One Emotion, Not Ten Pain Points
Pick one feeling you remember vividly. Anchor every message to that.
3. 🧨 Burn the Rule-book Option: Ditch Strategy for 30 Days
For 1 month, write and post only what you wish someone had told you when you were struggling. Watch who finds you.
4. ✍️ Keep a Memory Vault
Create a Google Doc or Notes app titled: “Things I Needed to Hear When I Was Surviving.”
Mine it daily.
5. 🎯 Track Resonance Over Reach
Pay attention to comments like: “Oof, I felt this,” or “Were you in my head?” That’s your real audience—not the one in your avatar doc.
🕯 Spell: “The Unmasking Incantation”
Ingredients:
- A candle (white for clarity or black for truth)
- Pen and journal
- A mirror
- A voice memo app or recorder
Timing: Waxing moon or whenever you feel disconnected from your voice
Steps:
- Light your candle and face the mirror.
- Say aloud: “I am not here to convince. I am here to connect.”
- Journal for 10 minutes: “What am I afraid to say, but need to say?”
- Record yourself saying it. Play it back. That’s your voice. That’s your brand.
- Blow out the candle and affirm: “I trust that truth is enough.”
🪞 Mirror Notes & Affirmations
- “I don’t need to be palatable to be powerful.”
- “My voice is a spell that doesn’t need approval to work.”
- “I’m not building a brand. I’m building a bridge.”
- “I’m not marketing. I’m remembering out loud.”
- “The past version of me deserves to be seen in every post.”
📓 Write It Like You’re Purging a Curse
- What version of you needed your offer the most?
- What did you believe back then that you now know isn’t true?
- Where are you still marketing to be liked instead of to be felt?
- What would change if you let your most unhealed moment lead your most honest message?
- What client stories shook you because they sounded like your own?
You’re not behind because your niche isn’t perfect.
You’re stuck because you’ve tried to sound like someone else’s “dream client” magnet. You haven’t focused on the medicine you already carry.
Let yourself be seen first.
Speak from the bruise, not the pitch deck.
And you’ll attract people who don’t just want your service—they want your soul’s story.
🧪 Test Your Chaos Levels (Results May Offend)
Pick the one that feels truest right now:
A. I’m speaking to the version of me who felt too broken to ask for help.
B. I’m speaking to the friend I watched lose herself in hustle culture.
C. I’m speaking to the inner child I’ve been re-parenting in secret.
D. I’m still figuring it out—but I know what I won’t speak to anymore.
Drop your letter (A–D) in the comments. I want to know who you are writing for.
📦 Wanna Go Deeper? I Got You.
Download your printable workbook with: (coming soon)
- Past Self Prompt Sheets
- Emotional Resonance Content Planner
- Messaging Reclamation Ritual
- Avatar Break-Up Letter Template
🖤 Click Here to Download the Guide
🧲 This Is Your Sign. Do the Damn Thing
Comment below with:
💬 “This is who I’m writing for:” and share one line that captures your person.
Or:
🖤 Share this with a fellow creator. They’re tired of talking to ghosts. They are ready to speak to the soul.
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